FF: Fooling Around - Josh/Donna, PG (1/2)
Apr. 1st, 2008 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caz963Disclaimers: I own nothing, I’m making nothing… these wonderful characters were created by Aaron Sorkin and belong to Sorkin, Wells and NBC. I’m just taking them out for a spin and will return when I’ve finished with them. Although I might need to hang on to Josh for a while …
Being anally retentive about that sort of thing, I proofed it myself, so any mistakes are mine!
Category/Pairing: Josh/Donna, ridiculously clichéd fluff. (Look at the date!!)
Spoilers: Up to the end of S4, I guess. Evidence of Things not Seen takes place at the end of March, so let’s put this shortly after that.
Rating: PG
A/N: I’ve been on a bit of an angst kick lately, so I thought it was time for some fluffy silliness.
It’s probably the daftest thing I’ve ever written. My natural instinct is to blame![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
coloneljack, but then I remembered this: Who’s the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?
So I guess I’d better shut up.
A/N 2: Usual plaudits to my ‘crew’ -coloneljack for putting up with my many insecurities and slapping me about when I need it, and zinke for her helpful (and far less painfully delivered) comments.
Fooling Around
“You know what the day after tomorrow is?”
Hunched over the desk, his elbows resting along the edge as he pored over a briefing book the size of a small apartment block, Josh didn’t look up from his reading.
“Huh?”
Donna pushed herself away from the doorframe, walked into his office and perched herself on the arm of one of the visitor’s chairs.
“I asked if you know what the day after tomorrow is.”
“Uh…” he squinted up at her, frowning. “Tuesday?”
Donna huffed and rolled her eyes. “Other than that.”
Josh just raised his eyebrows and resigned himself to letting Donna say whatever it was she’d decided was worth the interruption - having long since learned that it was best to let her wander on while he pretended to be listening.
“Okay,” he leaned back in his chair and stretched. “You keep talking and I’ll,” he sucked in a breath, “you know - ”
She looked at him impassively. “It’s April first.”
“I know you think I can’t read a calendar, but I’d have gotten there on my own.”
“Josh, sometimes weeks pass by without your seeing daylight – I wasn’t banking on it.”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the chair, working hard to suppress a smile. “Please tell me you’re going to make an actual point soon, because- ”
“I was just making conversation.”
“And you really can’t do that - somewhere else?”
“Not anywhere within a hundred yard radius, no, because it’s Sunday afternoon and all the sensible people are out having a life.”
Josh puffed out a breath and stared up at the ceiling. He knew what this was. This was Donna deciding he needed a break, but knowing him well enough to know he’d never admit it because, being him, he never did, and… when the hell had he started to sound like Donna inside his own head anyway?
But he wasn’t going down without a fight. And boy, he must be tired if he’d let that one through…
“Donna - ” he began, scrubbing a hand over his face as he straightened up and pulled his chair back into the desk. “I really have to get back to – can we do this later?”
She cocked her head to the side and focused her eyes on a point somewhere above his head.
Josh sighed. That would be a ‘no’, then.
Donna’s gaze flickered briefly in his direction. She’d been prepared for this. Josh had a tendency to display the same characteristics as an overtired toddler when he was like this – weary, but refusing to let himself show it or get some rest. She could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well lately, knew he definitely hadn’t eaten yet - and he’d been poring over that report for nearly three hours without a break. So even though she knew it would almost certainly bug the hell out of him, she’d decided it was time for some downtime and knowing Josh, if she suggested he go down to the mess, he’d wave her away and tell her he’d go when he’d finished – and if she took him coffee, he’d have an aneurism. So it was back to her tried and tested method.
Talking.
“Did you know that April Fool’s Day is generally held to be a left over from ancient festivals celebrated around the vernal equinox?”
Josh leaned forward and rested his arms on the edge of the desk. “Please, God,” he sighed, rubbing one eye, “don’t tell me you’re going to try the thing with the egg balancing, ‘cause really, I heard enough about that from CJ - ” he let his arm flop back down. “It doesn’t work.”
“Or,” Donna continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he’d spoken, “that before the middle of the sixteenth century, the new year began on April first?”
Josh propped his chin on his hand and squinted up at her. “Yes, I did know that.”
She shot him a disgruntled look. “So then you know why people play tricks on each other on that date.”
“No,” he breathed out a long-suffering sigh. “But you should feel free to tell me, because I only have another, you know, ten reports to read and a couple of bills to draft before the end of the week, and I figure if - ”
“It’s because some people didn’t like it when January first became the ‘official’ start of the year – or else they hadn’t heard about it - and stubbornly stuck to April first , so everyone else labelled them ‘fools’ and made jokes at their expense.”
“Ah,” he sniffed, “mocking. Guess I could get behind that.”
“And in France, they used to mark the date by sticking dead fish to the backs of their friends.”
“Oh, well that’s good to know, because next time I’m in France and feel the urge to slap someone with a dead fish I’ll be sure to wait until April first.”
Donna continued blithely on. “But nowadays, instead of real fish, they just use paper cut outs.”
“Well, yeah, I’d imagine people would run out of friends pretty quickly if they went around smelling of rotting fish.”
“Although of course - April Fool’s Day as we know it today didn’t actually come into being until the eighteenth century.”
“And that’s something I would really need to know because - ?”
“It’s interesting.” Donna stated, matter-of-factly. “These are interesting facts and you never know when you might need them.”
“You know when I’d need to know that?” Josh countered, sardonically. “Never. That’s when. Because I really fail to see why - ”
“Although I have to admit – I think the whole thing’s a bit silly, really.”
“Is there any chance you’re going to let me finish a - ” Josh stopped mid-sentence and blinked up at her incredulously. “I’m sorry – you’ve just sat here and bor - ” she glared at him and he coughed, strategically, “entertained me with all those du - interesting facts about April Fools Day – and now you tell me you don’t like the jokes?”
When she didn’t answer he sat back and grinned at her. “But that’s the best part!”
She shrugged, offhandedly. “I just think - ”
“And you’re not above playing a joke, Ms ‘the Lindbergh baby’s at home in the basement’.”
“That wasn’t the same.”
“No?”
“No – it was - ”
“What?”
She scowled at him. “Your idea, for a start.”
“What difference does that make? You can’t tell me you don’t enjoy a practical joke as much as the next person.”
Donna stood suddenly and folded her arms across her chest. “I had a bad experience when I was younger, okay?” she said quietly, eyes trained on the carpet. “You don’t like clowns; I have a thing about pranks on April 1st.”
Josh was unable to stop himself from barking out a laugh. “What? All because of that time you - ”
“No!” she shrieked hastily, holding up both hands. “You know I don’t like to talk about it.”
“But seriously, Donna – you don’t like April Fool’s jokes because your friends talked you into dressing up as a piece of cheese when you were fifteen?”
There were times she wished they didn’t know each other so well. “I told you I don’t like to talk about it.”
He smirked. “You’re not talking about it. I am.”
“That’s a distinction I’m not prepared to make at this point.”
“Anyway, you can’t tell me you’ve never played an April Fool’s trick, ever.”
“I didn’t say that,” she said, huffily. “I just said I didn’t really like them.”
“Yeah,” Josh went on, “but there have been some really good ones.”
“Define good.”
“Sidd Finch.”
At the puzzled expression on Donna’s face, Josh’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You don’t know about...?” When she shook her head, he straightened up as he continued, warming to his subject. “In 1985, Sports Illustrated ran a story about this guy called Sidd Finch who was a prospect for the Mets, who they said could pitch a 168 miles-per-hour fast ball with pinpoint accuracy. Apparently, his real name was Siddartha, and he’d learned to pitch in a Buddhist monastery.”
Donna quirked a brow. “And people fell for it?”
“Hey – it’s baseball! People will believe anything if it means winning. And don’t forget the spaghetti trees. That was a classic. Then there was the one about Alabama changing the value of Pi.”
Donna giggled and sat down in the chair. “I bet that one had Toby worried for a while.”
Josh chuckled. “Probably.”
“But those were all professional pranks. It’s the dumb stuff I don’t like.”
“Like lining up at a shoe store dressed as a piece of gorgonzola?”
Donna glared at him again. “What part of ‘I don’t like to talk about it’ didn’t you understand?”
Josh couldn’t help laughing. “I’m sorry,” he managed to say eventually, “but – yeah you’re right that was really dumb.”
She pouted. “I really wanted those shoes,” she said quietly, her head bowed… and for a split second, Josh panicked and wondered if she was about to cry. And then realised she was trying not to laugh.
“God, I must have looked really stupid.”
“Well, in your defence… no, actually, there’s no defence for falling for something like that.”
“Yeah, ‘cause you’ve never been tripped up - ”
Josh opened his mouth to reply in the affirmative when Donna continued –
“ - Bambi.” – and he snapped it shut again.
After a moment, he stood up and – trying to ignore the fact that his backside seemed to have gone to sleep - walked around perched himself on the edge of the other side of the desk. “You know, between the pair of us, we should be able to come up with a pretty good April Fool.”
Donna’s expression changed instantly to one of dismay. “Who is this ‘we’ of whom you speak?” She’d wanted to talk Josh out of his funk, not talk him into some hare-brained scheme. “Don’t include me in your plotting; it’ll undoubtedly end in tears and - ”
“Hey - ” he raised his eyebrows in indignation. “This is me we’re talking about.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of!”
“Oh, ye of little faith.”
“I really am – and who the hell says ‘ye’ these days anyway?”
Josh frowned at her exasperatedly. “C’mon, Donna – where’s your sense of fun?”
“Where’s your sense of – well, just… sense?”
“It’ll be fun,” he reiterated, feeling unaccountably revitalized at the prospect of indulging in a little calendrically-sanctioned mischief.
“Fun.”
“Yes.”
“Like the time you tried to get back at CJ for the motherboard thing and almost ended up with her bookshelves collapsing on top of you?”
“Yes.” Josh did a double-take. “Well, no, not exactly. Although you can’t deny it was a good idea in principle.”
Donna was very tempted to remind him that she had, in fact, pointed out the flaws in his plan during its early stages. But instead, she said, “You really think you can find something that’ll fool people around here? Some of the smartest people in the world work in this building.”
“Yeah, and two of them are in this room, so I’m sure we’ll be able to come up with – what?”
Donna couldn’t help the huge, dopey grin that had spread across her face. “Nothing.”
Josh found it absolutely impossible not to smile back at her when she looked at him like that. And then he started to wonder what on earth he could have done to have deserved it… and then to ponder when he’d started to think of a smile from Donna as some sort of reward. He smiled to himself. If they were a couple, he’d be completely whipped.
Wait.
If they were a ..?
Where the hell had that come from?
“Does that mean you’ll do it?” he persisted, shaking his head as if it would help to dislodge that thought.
“No.”
Josh pulled a face. There must be a way to talk her into this – for some reason the idea of pulling whatever stunt he could come up with without having Donna involved in some way wasn’t nearly so appealing.
He realized he was staring at her legs and looked up hastily – “’kay,” he cleared his throat. “How about we make a deal? I’ll buy you those shoes you’ve been complaining about not being able to afford for ages if we can fool everyone that - ” he broke off suddenly and scratched the back of his head.
Donna turned to face him, her head cocked to the side. “What?”
“And here my plan falls down somewhat.”
“Because you don’t have one.”
“I don’t.
“Poor baby.”
Josh stood up – ignoring the pins and needles in his thigh – and started to walk to the door. “But that doesn’t mean to say I won’t – wait,” he stopped and turned around. “Did you just ..?”
She looked over her shoulder and grinned at him impishly.
He rolled his eyes. “One of these days, someone’s going to overhear you and get the wrong idea. I mean - that routine you pulled last week.”
“What routine?”
He walked back to his desk and leaned against it, arms folded. “Oh, come on, that one was Emmy-worthy. Handsome and powerful?”
“Josh, you wouldn’t know an Emmy from your elbow.”
“That’s - ” he began indignantly, but Donna didn’t let him finish.
“Made you wonder though, didn’t it?”
He had to admit that smug looked pretty good on her. “Not rea – wait. That’s it.”
Donna looked at him suspiciously. “What is?”
Josh pushed himself away from the desk. “The plan.”
“What plan?”
“The plan for the April Fool thing.”
“The plan is that I have to pretend to flirt with you?”
“Yes. Or no. Or – we both do. We make people think that we’re … you know, we’re - ” he waved a hand between them, suddenly unable to find the correct turn of phrase.
Donna couldn’t believe her ears. “You and me,” she said flatly.
“Yes,” he grinned, inadvertently amused by her expression of utter shock.
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
Donna stared at him in silence as her brain raced through reasons #1 to #46 as to why that would be a phenomenally bad idea. “Josh, why the hell would - ?”
He threw his hands to the side. “It’s a joke! And it’ll just be for a few hours.”
Donna bit her lip. “I know, but - ”
“Come on,” he cajoled, “things could do with a little lightening up around here.”
That was, sadly, all too true. But still… She didn’t dare look at him because she knew all too well what she’d see if she did. An infectious grin, dimples, eyes sparkling with mischief and –
And there are reasons #47 to #49.
- no. She was close enough to capitulating as it was and thinking about what Josh looked like when he was fired up about something really wasn’t helping.
He dipped his head, his voice suddenly low, persuasive. “Need I remind you about the shoes..?”
She struggled not to smile, but dammit, he knew how to get to her. And Donna was sure Josh would be surprised to discover that it had nothing to do with the shoes and everything to do with the fact that a) he cared enough about having her with him on this to even consider trying to bribe her and b) the fact that he was ridiculously cute when he was trying to induce her to do something against her better judgement.
And that, right there, is Reason #50 why this is a bad idea.
Josh could tell she was wavering. Although she still wasn’t looking at him, if he ducked his head far enough he could see her lips twitching as she tried not to smile. She raised her eyes without lifting her head and looked up at him from under her lashes.
“Stop it.”
He leaned back, trying his best not to look too smug at the realization that he’d won. “Stop what?”
“That - ” Donna sat up straight and fixed him with a petulant stare. “That thing you do with your eyes.”
“The thing I do with..? What the hell are you talking about?”
“You know. The – that thing you do where you look like a hopeful puppy.”
Josh felt his smug grin disappear instantly. “A what? I do not look like a – I’m the Deputy Chief of Staff at the White House and as such am a person to be reckoned with and taken seriously. I do not - and have never - looked like a – a hopeful puppy!” he said indignantly.
Donna folded her arms. “You do and you have. And you’re doing it again.”
“Donna - ”
She dropped her head into her hands. “Oh, God, just… okay,” she straightened up. If she was giving in, it was better he thought it was because she was likening him to a pathetic looking animal rather than because she found his enthusiasm – and the glint in his eye – irresistible.
Stop that. Now.
She sighed. “If it means you’ll stop you making the cow eyes at me – okay. I’ll do it.”
“Cow eyes? What am I, a farmyard?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Shut up before I change my mind.”
He shut up. He’d won her over, so he figured he could give her that, at least.
Donna shook her head and looked up. “Just how, exactly, are we going to accomplish this plan of yours to make everyone think we’re...?”
He walked around to his chair and sat down again. “Oh. Uh – simple stuff.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno – we’ll play it by ear.”
“And that’s your plan?”
“It is.” Josh leaned back in his chair and swung his feet up onto the desk. “It’s you and me, Donna. What could possibly go wrong?”
She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. “This is bad on so many levels…”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Josh walked into the bullpen on Tuesday morning, coffee cup in hand, still thinking about exactly how he and Donna were going to pull off their prank. He had a few vague ideas, but despite his continued enthusiasm, he’d been unable to suppress the niggling voice at the back of his mind that was telling him that perhaps there might be some consequences to this scheme that he hadn’t yet considered. He could only suppose that his overworked, overstressed brain must have blown some kind of fuse – he’d never had much of a problem with this sort of thing in the past and wasn’t sure what was bothering him about it now, but he couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he should call it off.
“Morning, Donna,” he said, shrugging off his coat as he walked into his office.
When she didn’t reply, he hung up his coat, picked up his cup and walked back out to her cubicle, coming to stand next to her.
“Morning,” she said not looking up from her typing.
“So,” Josh began, intending to find an indirect way of calling off the prank while somehow avoiding the inevitable mocking that would ensue - “I was thinking - ” and then he stopped cold when he realized what she was wearing. “That’s – my shirt.”
Donna still didn’t look up. “Can’t get a thing past you, Josh.”
Donna. Was wearing his shirt. Josh scrubbed a hand over his face and was almost tempted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Although it had to be said - all the other times he’d pictured her wearing one of his shirts they’d definitely not been at the office, and she’d definitely not been wearing… much of anything else. He cleared his throat. “Did you come over yesterday and steal one while I was out?”
She turned to face him, finally. “Yeah, because it was so much easier to do that than it was to borrow one of the ones you keep here.”
“Ah.”
“Anyway - you were saying?” Donna stood and followed Josh as he walked back to his office, almost bumping into him when he stopped abruptly in the doorway.
“Hm?” He turned and tried not to think about how good she looked in his shirt. “Oh – don’t worry about it.”
She quirked an inquisitive eyebrow. “Okay.”
He grinned. “You look good, by the way.” Damn. So much for not thinking about it.
Donna stared at him for a second, feeling an answering grin spread across her face. Then she broke eye contact and looked down at the stash of pink slips in her hand.
“You have Jacobs from Legislative Affairs at ten, Leo wants you in on the thing with Fuller at eleven-thirty; the HUD meeting has been moved to after lunch and,” she peeled off a few slips and handed them to him, “you need to return these calls after Senior Staff.”
“Right.”
“Which is in ten minutes.”
Josh rifled through the scribbled notes. “kay.” Then he looked up and pulled a face. “What the hell does Dieterson want?”
“My super-hero mind-reading abilities are on the fritz today, but if I had to guess like a normal person, I’d say it might be about funding for the job-creation schemes in his district; which you’ve only spoken to him about three or four times before.”
Josh grunted. “Twice. Don’t exaggerate,” and looked up in time to see Donna take a quick glance around before she took a step closer to him and very slowly ran her hands across his shoulders, as if to brush something off his jacket. Which had been clean when he put it on this morning, so -
His instinct was to take a step backwards – but he already had his back to the doorframe so that wasn’t possible. Josh couldn’t remember Donna ever standing quite this close to him and it was – unsettling. The smell of her hair, the dusting of freckles he could see on her cheeks… he swallowed hard and realized that he’d just discovered one of those elusive consequences he’d been trying to pin down earlier. And it looked like it was too late to back out now.
“Uh…” he coughed nervously as Donna straightened his tie; which, come to think of it, he was sure hadn’t been crooked in the first place – finding himself completely unable to take his eyes off her face, her eyes focused on his tie, her lower lip drawn just slightly between her teeth…
Oh, God.
“Hey, Donna.” Josh jerked his head up at the same time as Donna almost jumped a step backwards and whirled around.
Bonnie’s smile was definitely a little suspicious as she held out a folder towards Donna. “Will wanted Josh to look through this – he’s marked the places where… uh… is everything okay?”
Donna’s eyebrows shot up in mock-surprise. “Why do you ask?”
“I – you just seem a little on edge, that’s all.”
“Me? Oh, no. No I’m fine,” Donna stammered, taking the proffered folder - and Josh couldn’t help but think that those theatre classes had paid off, impressed with her ability to slip into an act so convincingly. She’d make a damn good politician someday.
“Okay,” Bonnie said, eyeing Josh warily for a couple of seconds before switching her gaze back to Donna. “Are you sure you’re..?”
Donna smiled sweetly and waved a hand. “Yeah, thanks. See you later.”
“Sure.” And with one last glance at the two of them, Bonnie turned and left.
Josh stepped away from Donna and grinned sheepishly. “Nice to see you getting into the spirit of the thing.”
She turned to face him, hand on her hip. “Yeah. Thanks for the help. You didn’t have to leave it all to me, you know.”
“Sorry, I was just - ”
“What?”
“Um… if I said I was just taking the opportunity to appreciate a master at work?”
She poked him in the chest. “You’d be talking crap.”
He shrugged. “Worth a try,” and headed off in the direction of Leo’s office. “You’re… not going to try to climb me or anything in there, are you?” he smirked, when Donna had caught up with him.
“In your dreams.”
He blinked. Frequently.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Josh managed to make it through Staff without any major mishaps. Although he had to admit that the fact that Donna had been standing so close behind him that he could feel her body heat and her breath on his ear probably accounted for the fact that Leo had had to tell him to start behaving like an actual person rather than a comatose half-wit on two separate occasions. He’d heard Donna snort under her breath at that, and had reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles; startled when she started so violently as to have caused the bust of Washington on the shelf behind her to wobble dangerously. He was also pretty sure that that the hand-holding had registered on Margaret’s radar, because she’d shot them a particularly piercing look before Leo had re-claimed her attention.
The meeting ended shortly afterwards, and as Josh and Donna left Leo’s office, Donna leaned in to whisper, “Next time you’re going to do something like that, give me some warning, would you? I nearly broke George Washington.”
He smirked at her. “Okay,” and glanced over his shoulder at CJ and Toby who were deep in conversation behind them. “Consider yourself warned.”
“What are -?”
Donna felt Josh’s hand – which had been resting firmly at the small of her back as they walked – slide down and around so that it was almost resting on her hip. He left it there for a few seconds – then moved it back to its previous position, and Donna couldn’t believe how much she missed the feeling of his arm around her, even though it had been there for just a few, brief seconds. And then she noticed that CJ and Toby had fallen ominously silent.
“They’re going to kill us, you know,” she said quietly.
Josh leaned in so that their heads were almost touching. “For what? We haven’t – uh,” he swallowed, “done anything.”
Donna turned to look at him – and jerked her head back when her nose almost brushed against his cheek. For a split second, her eyes locked with his and she stamped on the flutter that started up in the pit of her stomach - before he moved his head and dropped his gaze to the floor.
Sighing, she reflected that she really ought to have insisted on two pairs of shoes.
Part Two
Being anally retentive about that sort of thing, I proofed it myself, so any mistakes are mine!
Category/Pairing: Josh/Donna, ridiculously clichéd fluff. (Look at the date!!)
Spoilers: Up to the end of S4, I guess. Evidence of Things not Seen takes place at the end of March, so let’s put this shortly after that.
Rating: PG
A/N: I’ve been on a bit of an angst kick lately, so I thought it was time for some fluffy silliness.
It’s probably the daftest thing I’ve ever written. My natural instinct is to blame
coloneljack, but then I remembered this: Who’s the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?So I guess I’d better shut up.
A/N 2: Usual plaudits to my ‘crew’ -
coloneljack for putting up with my many insecurities and slapping me about when I need it, and zinke for her helpful (and far less painfully delivered) comments.Fooling Around
“You know what the day after tomorrow is?”
Hunched over the desk, his elbows resting along the edge as he pored over a briefing book the size of a small apartment block, Josh didn’t look up from his reading.
“Huh?”
Donna pushed herself away from the doorframe, walked into his office and perched herself on the arm of one of the visitor’s chairs.
“I asked if you know what the day after tomorrow is.”
“Uh…” he squinted up at her, frowning. “Tuesday?”
Donna huffed and rolled her eyes. “Other than that.”
Josh just raised his eyebrows and resigned himself to letting Donna say whatever it was she’d decided was worth the interruption - having long since learned that it was best to let her wander on while he pretended to be listening.
“Okay,” he leaned back in his chair and stretched. “You keep talking and I’ll,” he sucked in a breath, “you know - ”
She looked at him impassively. “It’s April first.”
“I know you think I can’t read a calendar, but I’d have gotten there on my own.”
“Josh, sometimes weeks pass by without your seeing daylight – I wasn’t banking on it.”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the chair, working hard to suppress a smile. “Please tell me you’re going to make an actual point soon, because- ”
“I was just making conversation.”
“And you really can’t do that - somewhere else?”
“Not anywhere within a hundred yard radius, no, because it’s Sunday afternoon and all the sensible people are out having a life.”
Josh puffed out a breath and stared up at the ceiling. He knew what this was. This was Donna deciding he needed a break, but knowing him well enough to know he’d never admit it because, being him, he never did, and… when the hell had he started to sound like Donna inside his own head anyway?
But he wasn’t going down without a fight. And boy, he must be tired if he’d let that one through…
“Donna - ” he began, scrubbing a hand over his face as he straightened up and pulled his chair back into the desk. “I really have to get back to – can we do this later?”
She cocked her head to the side and focused her eyes on a point somewhere above his head.
Josh sighed. That would be a ‘no’, then.
Donna’s gaze flickered briefly in his direction. She’d been prepared for this. Josh had a tendency to display the same characteristics as an overtired toddler when he was like this – weary, but refusing to let himself show it or get some rest. She could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well lately, knew he definitely hadn’t eaten yet - and he’d been poring over that report for nearly three hours without a break. So even though she knew it would almost certainly bug the hell out of him, she’d decided it was time for some downtime and knowing Josh, if she suggested he go down to the mess, he’d wave her away and tell her he’d go when he’d finished – and if she took him coffee, he’d have an aneurism. So it was back to her tried and tested method.
Talking.
“Did you know that April Fool’s Day is generally held to be a left over from ancient festivals celebrated around the vernal equinox?”
Josh leaned forward and rested his arms on the edge of the desk. “Please, God,” he sighed, rubbing one eye, “don’t tell me you’re going to try the thing with the egg balancing, ‘cause really, I heard enough about that from CJ - ” he let his arm flop back down. “It doesn’t work.”
“Or,” Donna continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he’d spoken, “that before the middle of the sixteenth century, the new year began on April first?”
Josh propped his chin on his hand and squinted up at her. “Yes, I did know that.”
She shot him a disgruntled look. “So then you know why people play tricks on each other on that date.”
“No,” he breathed out a long-suffering sigh. “But you should feel free to tell me, because I only have another, you know, ten reports to read and a couple of bills to draft before the end of the week, and I figure if - ”
“It’s because some people didn’t like it when January first became the ‘official’ start of the year – or else they hadn’t heard about it - and stubbornly stuck to April first , so everyone else labelled them ‘fools’ and made jokes at their expense.”
“Ah,” he sniffed, “mocking. Guess I could get behind that.”
“And in France, they used to mark the date by sticking dead fish to the backs of their friends.”
“Oh, well that’s good to know, because next time I’m in France and feel the urge to slap someone with a dead fish I’ll be sure to wait until April first.”
Donna continued blithely on. “But nowadays, instead of real fish, they just use paper cut outs.”
“Well, yeah, I’d imagine people would run out of friends pretty quickly if they went around smelling of rotting fish.”
“Although of course - April Fool’s Day as we know it today didn’t actually come into being until the eighteenth century.”
“And that’s something I would really need to know because - ?”
“It’s interesting.” Donna stated, matter-of-factly. “These are interesting facts and you never know when you might need them.”
“You know when I’d need to know that?” Josh countered, sardonically. “Never. That’s when. Because I really fail to see why - ”
“Although I have to admit – I think the whole thing’s a bit silly, really.”
“Is there any chance you’re going to let me finish a - ” Josh stopped mid-sentence and blinked up at her incredulously. “I’m sorry – you’ve just sat here and bor - ” she glared at him and he coughed, strategically, “entertained me with all those du - interesting facts about April Fools Day – and now you tell me you don’t like the jokes?”
When she didn’t answer he sat back and grinned at her. “But that’s the best part!”
She shrugged, offhandedly. “I just think - ”
“And you’re not above playing a joke, Ms ‘the Lindbergh baby’s at home in the basement’.”
“That wasn’t the same.”
“No?”
“No – it was - ”
“What?”
She scowled at him. “Your idea, for a start.”
“What difference does that make? You can’t tell me you don’t enjoy a practical joke as much as the next person.”
Donna stood suddenly and folded her arms across her chest. “I had a bad experience when I was younger, okay?” she said quietly, eyes trained on the carpet. “You don’t like clowns; I have a thing about pranks on April 1st.”
Josh was unable to stop himself from barking out a laugh. “What? All because of that time you - ”
“No!” she shrieked hastily, holding up both hands. “You know I don’t like to talk about it.”
“But seriously, Donna – you don’t like April Fool’s jokes because your friends talked you into dressing up as a piece of cheese when you were fifteen?”
There were times she wished they didn’t know each other so well. “I told you I don’t like to talk about it.”
He smirked. “You’re not talking about it. I am.”
“That’s a distinction I’m not prepared to make at this point.”
“Anyway, you can’t tell me you’ve never played an April Fool’s trick, ever.”
“I didn’t say that,” she said, huffily. “I just said I didn’t really like them.”
“Yeah,” Josh went on, “but there have been some really good ones.”
“Define good.”
“Sidd Finch.”
At the puzzled expression on Donna’s face, Josh’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You don’t know about...?” When she shook her head, he straightened up as he continued, warming to his subject. “In 1985, Sports Illustrated ran a story about this guy called Sidd Finch who was a prospect for the Mets, who they said could pitch a 168 miles-per-hour fast ball with pinpoint accuracy. Apparently, his real name was Siddartha, and he’d learned to pitch in a Buddhist monastery.”
Donna quirked a brow. “And people fell for it?”
“Hey – it’s baseball! People will believe anything if it means winning. And don’t forget the spaghetti trees. That was a classic. Then there was the one about Alabama changing the value of Pi.”
Donna giggled and sat down in the chair. “I bet that one had Toby worried for a while.”
Josh chuckled. “Probably.”
“But those were all professional pranks. It’s the dumb stuff I don’t like.”
“Like lining up at a shoe store dressed as a piece of gorgonzola?”
Donna glared at him again. “What part of ‘I don’t like to talk about it’ didn’t you understand?”
Josh couldn’t help laughing. “I’m sorry,” he managed to say eventually, “but – yeah you’re right that was really dumb.”
She pouted. “I really wanted those shoes,” she said quietly, her head bowed… and for a split second, Josh panicked and wondered if she was about to cry. And then realised she was trying not to laugh.
“God, I must have looked really stupid.”
“Well, in your defence… no, actually, there’s no defence for falling for something like that.”
“Yeah, ‘cause you’ve never been tripped up - ”
Josh opened his mouth to reply in the affirmative when Donna continued –
“ - Bambi.” – and he snapped it shut again.
After a moment, he stood up and – trying to ignore the fact that his backside seemed to have gone to sleep - walked around perched himself on the edge of the other side of the desk. “You know, between the pair of us, we should be able to come up with a pretty good April Fool.”
Donna’s expression changed instantly to one of dismay. “Who is this ‘we’ of whom you speak?” She’d wanted to talk Josh out of his funk, not talk him into some hare-brained scheme. “Don’t include me in your plotting; it’ll undoubtedly end in tears and - ”
“Hey - ” he raised his eyebrows in indignation. “This is me we’re talking about.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of!”
“Oh, ye of little faith.”
“I really am – and who the hell says ‘ye’ these days anyway?”
Josh frowned at her exasperatedly. “C’mon, Donna – where’s your sense of fun?”
“Where’s your sense of – well, just… sense?”
“It’ll be fun,” he reiterated, feeling unaccountably revitalized at the prospect of indulging in a little calendrically-sanctioned mischief.
“Fun.”
“Yes.”
“Like the time you tried to get back at CJ for the motherboard thing and almost ended up with her bookshelves collapsing on top of you?”
“Yes.” Josh did a double-take. “Well, no, not exactly. Although you can’t deny it was a good idea in principle.”
Donna was very tempted to remind him that she had, in fact, pointed out the flaws in his plan during its early stages. But instead, she said, “You really think you can find something that’ll fool people around here? Some of the smartest people in the world work in this building.”
“Yeah, and two of them are in this room, so I’m sure we’ll be able to come up with – what?”
Donna couldn’t help the huge, dopey grin that had spread across her face. “Nothing.”
Josh found it absolutely impossible not to smile back at her when she looked at him like that. And then he started to wonder what on earth he could have done to have deserved it… and then to ponder when he’d started to think of a smile from Donna as some sort of reward. He smiled to himself. If they were a couple, he’d be completely whipped.
Wait.
If they were a ..?
Where the hell had that come from?
“Does that mean you’ll do it?” he persisted, shaking his head as if it would help to dislodge that thought.
“No.”
Josh pulled a face. There must be a way to talk her into this – for some reason the idea of pulling whatever stunt he could come up with without having Donna involved in some way wasn’t nearly so appealing.
He realized he was staring at her legs and looked up hastily – “’kay,” he cleared his throat. “How about we make a deal? I’ll buy you those shoes you’ve been complaining about not being able to afford for ages if we can fool everyone that - ” he broke off suddenly and scratched the back of his head.
Donna turned to face him, her head cocked to the side. “What?”
“And here my plan falls down somewhat.”
“Because you don’t have one.”
“I don’t.
“Poor baby.”
Josh stood up – ignoring the pins and needles in his thigh – and started to walk to the door. “But that doesn’t mean to say I won’t – wait,” he stopped and turned around. “Did you just ..?”
She looked over her shoulder and grinned at him impishly.
He rolled his eyes. “One of these days, someone’s going to overhear you and get the wrong idea. I mean - that routine you pulled last week.”
“What routine?”
He walked back to his desk and leaned against it, arms folded. “Oh, come on, that one was Emmy-worthy. Handsome and powerful?”
“Josh, you wouldn’t know an Emmy from your elbow.”
“That’s - ” he began indignantly, but Donna didn’t let him finish.
“Made you wonder though, didn’t it?”
He had to admit that smug looked pretty good on her. “Not rea – wait. That’s it.”
Donna looked at him suspiciously. “What is?”
Josh pushed himself away from the desk. “The plan.”
“What plan?”
“The plan for the April Fool thing.”
“The plan is that I have to pretend to flirt with you?”
“Yes. Or no. Or – we both do. We make people think that we’re … you know, we’re - ” he waved a hand between them, suddenly unable to find the correct turn of phrase.
Donna couldn’t believe her ears. “You and me,” she said flatly.
“Yes,” he grinned, inadvertently amused by her expression of utter shock.
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
Donna stared at him in silence as her brain raced through reasons #1 to #46 as to why that would be a phenomenally bad idea. “Josh, why the hell would - ?”
He threw his hands to the side. “It’s a joke! And it’ll just be for a few hours.”
Donna bit her lip. “I know, but - ”
“Come on,” he cajoled, “things could do with a little lightening up around here.”
That was, sadly, all too true. But still… She didn’t dare look at him because she knew all too well what she’d see if she did. An infectious grin, dimples, eyes sparkling with mischief and –
And there are reasons #47 to #49.
- no. She was close enough to capitulating as it was and thinking about what Josh looked like when he was fired up about something really wasn’t helping.
He dipped his head, his voice suddenly low, persuasive. “Need I remind you about the shoes..?”
She struggled not to smile, but dammit, he knew how to get to her. And Donna was sure Josh would be surprised to discover that it had nothing to do with the shoes and everything to do with the fact that a) he cared enough about having her with him on this to even consider trying to bribe her and b) the fact that he was ridiculously cute when he was trying to induce her to do something against her better judgement.
And that, right there, is Reason #50 why this is a bad idea.
Josh could tell she was wavering. Although she still wasn’t looking at him, if he ducked his head far enough he could see her lips twitching as she tried not to smile. She raised her eyes without lifting her head and looked up at him from under her lashes.
“Stop it.”
He leaned back, trying his best not to look too smug at the realization that he’d won. “Stop what?”
“That - ” Donna sat up straight and fixed him with a petulant stare. “That thing you do with your eyes.”
“The thing I do with..? What the hell are you talking about?”
“You know. The – that thing you do where you look like a hopeful puppy.”
Josh felt his smug grin disappear instantly. “A what? I do not look like a – I’m the Deputy Chief of Staff at the White House and as such am a person to be reckoned with and taken seriously. I do not - and have never - looked like a – a hopeful puppy!” he said indignantly.
Donna folded her arms. “You do and you have. And you’re doing it again.”
“Donna - ”
She dropped her head into her hands. “Oh, God, just… okay,” she straightened up. If she was giving in, it was better he thought it was because she was likening him to a pathetic looking animal rather than because she found his enthusiasm – and the glint in his eye – irresistible.
Stop that. Now.
She sighed. “If it means you’ll stop you making the cow eyes at me – okay. I’ll do it.”
“Cow eyes? What am I, a farmyard?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Shut up before I change my mind.”
He shut up. He’d won her over, so he figured he could give her that, at least.
Donna shook her head and looked up. “Just how, exactly, are we going to accomplish this plan of yours to make everyone think we’re...?”
He walked around to his chair and sat down again. “Oh. Uh – simple stuff.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno – we’ll play it by ear.”
“And that’s your plan?”
“It is.” Josh leaned back in his chair and swung his feet up onto the desk. “It’s you and me, Donna. What could possibly go wrong?”
She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. “This is bad on so many levels…”
Josh walked into the bullpen on Tuesday morning, coffee cup in hand, still thinking about exactly how he and Donna were going to pull off their prank. He had a few vague ideas, but despite his continued enthusiasm, he’d been unable to suppress the niggling voice at the back of his mind that was telling him that perhaps there might be some consequences to this scheme that he hadn’t yet considered. He could only suppose that his overworked, overstressed brain must have blown some kind of fuse – he’d never had much of a problem with this sort of thing in the past and wasn’t sure what was bothering him about it now, but he couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he should call it off.
“Morning, Donna,” he said, shrugging off his coat as he walked into his office.
When she didn’t reply, he hung up his coat, picked up his cup and walked back out to her cubicle, coming to stand next to her.
“Morning,” she said not looking up from her typing.
“So,” Josh began, intending to find an indirect way of calling off the prank while somehow avoiding the inevitable mocking that would ensue - “I was thinking - ” and then he stopped cold when he realized what she was wearing. “That’s – my shirt.”
Donna still didn’t look up. “Can’t get a thing past you, Josh.”
Donna. Was wearing his shirt. Josh scrubbed a hand over his face and was almost tempted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Although it had to be said - all the other times he’d pictured her wearing one of his shirts they’d definitely not been at the office, and she’d definitely not been wearing… much of anything else. He cleared his throat. “Did you come over yesterday and steal one while I was out?”
She turned to face him, finally. “Yeah, because it was so much easier to do that than it was to borrow one of the ones you keep here.”
“Ah.”
“Anyway - you were saying?” Donna stood and followed Josh as he walked back to his office, almost bumping into him when he stopped abruptly in the doorway.
“Hm?” He turned and tried not to think about how good she looked in his shirt. “Oh – don’t worry about it.”
She quirked an inquisitive eyebrow. “Okay.”
He grinned. “You look good, by the way.” Damn. So much for not thinking about it.
Donna stared at him for a second, feeling an answering grin spread across her face. Then she broke eye contact and looked down at the stash of pink slips in her hand.
“You have Jacobs from Legislative Affairs at ten, Leo wants you in on the thing with Fuller at eleven-thirty; the HUD meeting has been moved to after lunch and,” she peeled off a few slips and handed them to him, “you need to return these calls after Senior Staff.”
“Right.”
“Which is in ten minutes.”
Josh rifled through the scribbled notes. “kay.” Then he looked up and pulled a face. “What the hell does Dieterson want?”
“My super-hero mind-reading abilities are on the fritz today, but if I had to guess like a normal person, I’d say it might be about funding for the job-creation schemes in his district; which you’ve only spoken to him about three or four times before.”
Josh grunted. “Twice. Don’t exaggerate,” and looked up in time to see Donna take a quick glance around before she took a step closer to him and very slowly ran her hands across his shoulders, as if to brush something off his jacket. Which had been clean when he put it on this morning, so -
His instinct was to take a step backwards – but he already had his back to the doorframe so that wasn’t possible. Josh couldn’t remember Donna ever standing quite this close to him and it was – unsettling. The smell of her hair, the dusting of freckles he could see on her cheeks… he swallowed hard and realized that he’d just discovered one of those elusive consequences he’d been trying to pin down earlier. And it looked like it was too late to back out now.
“Uh…” he coughed nervously as Donna straightened his tie; which, come to think of it, he was sure hadn’t been crooked in the first place – finding himself completely unable to take his eyes off her face, her eyes focused on his tie, her lower lip drawn just slightly between her teeth…
Oh, God.
“Hey, Donna.” Josh jerked his head up at the same time as Donna almost jumped a step backwards and whirled around.
Bonnie’s smile was definitely a little suspicious as she held out a folder towards Donna. “Will wanted Josh to look through this – he’s marked the places where… uh… is everything okay?”
Donna’s eyebrows shot up in mock-surprise. “Why do you ask?”
“I – you just seem a little on edge, that’s all.”
“Me? Oh, no. No I’m fine,” Donna stammered, taking the proffered folder - and Josh couldn’t help but think that those theatre classes had paid off, impressed with her ability to slip into an act so convincingly. She’d make a damn good politician someday.
“Okay,” Bonnie said, eyeing Josh warily for a couple of seconds before switching her gaze back to Donna. “Are you sure you’re..?”
Donna smiled sweetly and waved a hand. “Yeah, thanks. See you later.”
“Sure.” And with one last glance at the two of them, Bonnie turned and left.
Josh stepped away from Donna and grinned sheepishly. “Nice to see you getting into the spirit of the thing.”
She turned to face him, hand on her hip. “Yeah. Thanks for the help. You didn’t have to leave it all to me, you know.”
“Sorry, I was just - ”
“What?”
“Um… if I said I was just taking the opportunity to appreciate a master at work?”
She poked him in the chest. “You’d be talking crap.”
He shrugged. “Worth a try,” and headed off in the direction of Leo’s office. “You’re… not going to try to climb me or anything in there, are you?” he smirked, when Donna had caught up with him.
“In your dreams.”
He blinked. Frequently.
Josh managed to make it through Staff without any major mishaps. Although he had to admit that the fact that Donna had been standing so close behind him that he could feel her body heat and her breath on his ear probably accounted for the fact that Leo had had to tell him to start behaving like an actual person rather than a comatose half-wit on two separate occasions. He’d heard Donna snort under her breath at that, and had reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles; startled when she started so violently as to have caused the bust of Washington on the shelf behind her to wobble dangerously. He was also pretty sure that that the hand-holding had registered on Margaret’s radar, because she’d shot them a particularly piercing look before Leo had re-claimed her attention.
The meeting ended shortly afterwards, and as Josh and Donna left Leo’s office, Donna leaned in to whisper, “Next time you’re going to do something like that, give me some warning, would you? I nearly broke George Washington.”
He smirked at her. “Okay,” and glanced over his shoulder at CJ and Toby who were deep in conversation behind them. “Consider yourself warned.”
“What are -?”
Donna felt Josh’s hand – which had been resting firmly at the small of her back as they walked – slide down and around so that it was almost resting on her hip. He left it there for a few seconds – then moved it back to its previous position, and Donna couldn’t believe how much she missed the feeling of his arm around her, even though it had been there for just a few, brief seconds. And then she noticed that CJ and Toby had fallen ominously silent.
“They’re going to kill us, you know,” she said quietly.
Josh leaned in so that their heads were almost touching. “For what? We haven’t – uh,” he swallowed, “done anything.”
Donna turned to look at him – and jerked her head back when her nose almost brushed against his cheek. For a split second, her eyes locked with his and she stamped on the flutter that started up in the pit of her stomach - before he moved his head and dropped his gaze to the floor.
Sighing, she reflected that she really ought to have insisted on two pairs of shoes.
Part Two
