caz963 | FF: Myths and Misconceptions J/D

Disclaimers: I own nothing, I’m making nothing… these wonderful characters were created by Aaron Sorkin and belong to Sorkin, Wells and NBC. I’m just taking them out for a spin and will return when I’ve finished with them. Although I might need to hang on to Josh for a while …

Being anally retentive about that sort of thing, I proofed it myself, so any mistakes are mine!

Category/Pairing: J/D – HMQ (High Mush Quotient!)

Spoilers: Well, everything I guess – we’re a couple of years into Santos’ first term…

Rating: Shall we say PG? (pregnancy stuff!)

A/N: Um – I wrote a ‘futurefic’! I’ve been thinking about writing one for a while, but the muse(such as it is) wasn’t being co-operative.
A while back,

truelyfocussed suggested I write something where a pregnant Donna is concerned about Josh being in the delivery room with her … but I wasn’t sure it was really ‘me’.
‘Me’ apparently had other ideas, because this appeared in the space of about 2 hours (give or take!) a few days ago.

A/N 2: As usual, thanks to my cohorts,

quaggy_mire and

coloneljack, whose regular use of the two by four keeps me on track!

So, yes, it’s mushy… yes, you can play ‘spot the cliché’ and yes, it’s quite probably crap, but here it is anyway.

MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS

It was a little after nine when Josh finally got home that night to find Donna sprawled on the sofa with her feet up on a couple of cushions, some folders on the floor beside her and her glasses half way down her nose, fast asleep.

Smiling fondly, he dropped his bags as quietly as he could in the usual spot by the door and hung up his jacket before he made his way over and squatted down in front of her. Brushing some hair back from her face, he removed the glasses, shaking his head as he remembered how peeved she’d been at discovering she needed them before he did - it’s not fair – you’re twelve years older than I am, and I’m the one who needs glasses? - and kissed her forehead, intending to leave her to sleep some more, but as he turned back from putting the glasses on the coffee-table he saw she was smiling, although her eyes were still closed; and then she reached out to put her hand on his cheek.

“Hey…” she tried to stifle a yawn. “What time is it?”

Josh sniffed. “Around nine.”

Donna stretched and rubbed her eyes before pushing herself, with some difficulty, to a sitting position. “Sorry, I couldn’t keep my eyes open…”

He smiled and stretched up to kiss her softly on the lips. “It’s okay… you need your sleep – I mean, going to the bathroom every two hours at night must really take it out of you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me… and speaking of that …” she put a hand on his shoulder and levered herself up off the sofa, absently rubbing her belly as she headed towards the bathroom.

Josh sat back on his heels and watched her, amazed that although the sleek, gazelle like creature he’d married had turned into something more resembling a hippo, he still couldn’t look at her without feeling that familiar, visceral tug at the pit of his stomach which the dozen or so years that he’d known her had done nothing to diminish. If anything, it had gotten stronger over the past few months and the changes in her body hadn’t altered the fact that he still had the urge to make love to her at every available opportunity. He remembered reading something in some pregnancy magazine or other Donna had thrust under his nose when they’d first discovered she was expecting …

“Read those,” she’d said – pointing to various articles she’d marked by sticking different colored post-its on the relevant pages, “and hopefully they’ll answer any potentially embarrassing questions you’d probably blush and stammer your way through – even though I can’t think why you’d find it difficult - I mean this is something we did together after all, and we see each other naked all the time, so I can’t think there’s anything you’d feel you can’t ask me, but I guess some men find pregnancy awkward and hard to navigate and don’t know – what?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing – you’ve got that look on your face that says you’re working out how to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible.”

Josh attempted to pull a different face as he flicked through the pages. “It’s just… hey – a list of comfortable ‘positions’?” he continued to scan that particular article; “Donna, are you really gonna get incredibly horny during the second trimester? I’m just sayin’ - it’d be nice to know what I’m letting myself in for- ow!”

So he’d read the articles without complaint (well, mostly) despite finding some of them, well, terrifying, but had taken particular note of one which had talked about how some men found their pregnant wives irresistible, and how it was to do with the ‘glow’ of pregnancy or because there was something incredibly sexy about a woman bearing their child. Personally, Josh wasn’t so sure about that – he found Donna irresistible pretty much all the time so it didn’t really make sense to him that there would ever be a point at which he didn’t think she was sexy – but he had to admit that there was definitely some kind of ‘glow’ about her…

Donna shuffled back into the living room, interrupting his train of thought.

Josh glanced at her and rubbed the back of his neck. “Are they sure it’s not twins?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Yes, Josh, they’re sure … you’ve seen the ultrasounds – there really is only one Lyman in there.”

Donna sat on the sofa again and swung her legs up; Josh sat on the floor next to her, putting his hand gently on her bump.

She sighed contentedly as she shifted about trying to find a comfortable position. “So… how was your day?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “You know, it’s at times like this I get the strongest urge to shout ‘Hi, honey, I’m home!’ when I get in the door.”

“Well, whatever it is that stops you, thank God for it,” Donna narrowed her eyes at him, “because if you did that I think I might just have to start divorce proceedings.”

His eyebrows shot up. “That’s pretty much it.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Josh got up and sat at the end of the sofa, lifting Donna’s legs so that her calves were resting over his thigh and put a cushion on his lap so that her ankles were raised. He put his hand back on her belly and was about to answer her earlier question about what had been going on that day, when he felt the baby move.

“Wow. That’s one helluva kick!” It never ceased to amaze him that there was a little… ‘someone’ inside her who was moving around and sleeping and eating…

She sighed. “How do you think it feels from this side?”

“Wait – was that… a foot?” Josh frowned.

Donna sat up a little rubbing her belly as his hand dropped to her thigh. “An elbow, I think… must be running out of room in there.”

“That’s a bit… um… you know, being able to see…” he grinned at her suddenly, “you’re like John Hurt in ‘Alien’.”

Donna shook her head despairingly. “You really do say the most romantic things. Here I am, looking and feeling like a beached whale, and that’s the best you can come up with? 760 verbal, my ass.”

He snickered gently and lifted her legs, putting the cushions back under her feet as he stood up and moved to sit next to her, perching on the edge of the sofa. Resting one hand on the back, he started to stroke her hair with the other. Donna sighed and closed her eyes.

“I’ll be so glad when this is over.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I mean, actually I’ve quite liked being pregnant. I know some women aren’t wild about it, even though they really want to have a baby, but I don’t feel like that. It makes me feel… I don’t know – special – and I know that probably sounds stupid, but that’s the only way I can put it. But now the end’s in sight, I’d sort of like to get it over and done with, you know?”

Josh moved his hand from the back of the sofa and rubbed it over her belly again. “It’s not stupid… it’s an amazing thing, what you’re doing and you should feel special." He shifted a bit closer to her and brought his other hand to her cheek. “And you are special.” He cocked his head to the side and shrugged. “Well, I’ve always thought so.”

Donna couldn’t help the huge smile that was spreading over her face; these little compliments from Josh still surprised her from time to time. She’d learned pretty quickly after their first meeting that his brashness was sometimes little more than a cover for the vulnerability that lurked just beneath the surface and that he was capable of an innate sweetness that really could be breathtaking at times… but even after all these years – nearly two of them as his wife - she could still be blindsided by the simplest comment and found a lump forming in her throat.

Telling herself not to be such a sap, she huffed and rolled her eyes at him. “Okay, now I’m hallucinating. It must be the hormones or something, or maybe the aliens really have landed –“

Josh snorted. “Hey! You know, you spent years telling me to be nicer, then when I am, you accuse me of being taken over by pod-people or something.”

Donna shrugged, and Josh leaned down for a kiss. And as often happened when he kissed her, it was never as simple as that. When he pulled back a few minutes later, his tie was gone, Donna’s hands were up under his shirt stroking his back and he had a hand making its way up the inside of her thigh.

“Hungry?” she asked a bit breathlessly when they broke apart.

Not necessarily for food, he thought – but decided he’d probably be better off keeping that to himself for now. Given her condition, he left those decisions to Donna these days, figuring that she’d let him know when she felt like having sex… which had been pretty much all the time for the last few months.

He sat back. “Well, I’m not starving. Margaret’s been forcing me to eat a proper lunch most days. She says it’s to save you from having to stand about cooking for me – although why she’d think you do that anyway, I have no idea –“ Donna shot him a warning glare, but he carried on regardless, “although I get the impression she’s been under strict instructions to make sure I remember to eat since you left…”

Josh forced himself not to laugh at Donna’s expression of complete innocence as he went on, “but I could eat something. I know I’m going to regret asking, but what do you feel like eating?”

Donna pouted and tapped her lips with her index finger pretending to think about it, but Josh could tell she’d had something in mind, probably since before he’d gotten home.

He winced. “Please don’t tell me it’s the anchovy and banana pizza again? Or the salad with the olives, beets and the crushed pineapple…”

“No, not tonight. I think my craving’s tending more towards the simple … pasta maybe… with chicken… oh – what about something from that new Mexican place around the corner… or wait – is Tombs too far to go? They do a great portabello sandwich on focaccia …”

Josh blinked. Something else he remembered reading in those magazine articles was about how the whole “eating for two” thing was a complete myth. Thinking about Donna’s appetite over these past few weeks, he’d begun to wonder whether she wasn’t eating for twelve.

“Okay… well, you decide what you want – I’m gonna go change…” he looked around for his tie, which was on the floor by the coffee table and picked it up before heading into the bedroom.

Donna stretched and got up to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen. There was a subject she needed to broach with Josh and if she didn’t do it soon, well, it would be too late. But it would be a little … awkward.

She remembered how, on that first vacation they’d taken together after the election, it had been quite difficult to talk about some of the things they needed to discuss because they’d been so painful for them. She’d actually been surprised at how easily they’d covered the really important stuff – they knew they wanted to make a life together, and had talked about how they might make it work, given their jobs; they’d even discussed marriage – but Josh had found it very hard to talk about Gaza, (which she knew was partly because he hated to think about her being hurt and partly because he still felt guilty about having got her on the CODEL in the first place) and about what had happened afterwards.

But this was something she needed to address, and really, it wasn’t anything particularly momentous – she just knew that that period of their lives was something he didn’t like to think - let alone talk - about much. And given that she still found it hard to think or talk about Rosslyn, she could understand Josh’s reticence.

She’d just settled herself back onto the sofa when he emerged from the bedroom in well worn jeans and an old t-shirt. She patted the sofa next to her, and he sat down, slinging an arm around her shoulders and putting his feet up on the coffee-table.

She snuggled into his side as best she could and took a deep breath. “Josh – I know we’ve talked about what happens when I go into labor, and what sort of birth I want to have and stuff like that, but we haven’t really – I mean, I wondered if you wanted -” she stopped and tried again “… are you sure you’ll be able to handle being in the delivery room with me?”

He pulled back a little and looked down at her. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Um - well, I know how you are… with … blood and stuff … and I just thought that, well, there’s bound to be a fair bit of it about, and I’ll probably be yelling my head off and calling you every type of bastard under the sun, and I thought that perhaps you might… well, that it might be…”

He rested his cheek on her hair. “Donna, are you trying to call me a wuss?”

“Not as such…”

“Of course I want to be there with you… I’ve already told Sam and the President that barring an invasion on US soil there’s no way I’m not going to be with you for the… you know…”

“You can’t even say ‘birth’!’”

“I can – I just… ”

Donna sat up and looked at him intently. She wanted Josh with her when the baby came – desperately - but on the other hand, being present at the birth of a baby wasn’t something every man could handle and she was worried that he would turn out to be one of them. She needed to give him an out, because she knew he’d never ask her for one; but God, it was hard, given that her every instinct was to insist he was there with her no matter what. But on a purely practical note, Donna knew that if Josh was going to react badly in the delivery room, it would be fairer – for the staff, for him, and most of all, for her – if he wasn’t there in the first place. So she screwed up her courage and went on.

“Seriously, Josh… of course I want you to be there, but … well, I was just thinking that it wouldn’t really be the best use of the nurses’ time if they have to take care of you because you passed out in the delivery room or something. I mean, they’ll have their hands full with me and the baby, and if… well, if it’s going to be… if you’d feel… really, I’ll understand.”

“Donna –“ he turned to face her and took both her hands in his. “Why on earth would you think I’d – I mean, what makes you think I’m that squeamish?”

She looked away and pursed her lips, telling herself that this was the opportunity she needed, and that she should take it while it was open to her.

“In… in Germany,” she began, watching as his forehead began to wrinkle into a frown, “Colonel Leahy told me that… well, that when you arrived and he told you about my – my leg and stuff … he told me he thought you were going to pass out. Just from his telling you about what had happened to me and … what I’d had to have done. So I’m worried that if you’re actually in the delivery room and it gets… uncomfortable for you… well, I’m gonna be as worried about you as I am about the baby and I don’t know if I could cope with that on top of - so … well, I wanted to… give you the option.”

Josh was silent for a moment or two. He remembered perfectly well the incident she was talking about – how could he ever forget? He’d dropped everything, gotten on a plane – his thoughts filled with her and only her. He knew she was alive – but would she still be when he got there? And if she was, what sort of condition would she be in? Would she even want to see him considering that he’d… sent her to Gaza in the first place? He remembered Leahy giving him the details about her injuries, and yes, it had sounded pretty gruesome, but that hadn’t been what had caused the sudden dizziness he’d experienced.

“Donna,” he said quietly, “that wasn’t because I was squeamish.” She looked at him questioningly then looked down at their hands, watching him rub his thumb gently over her knuckles.

Cocking an eyebrow, she looked up again. “No? I remember that time the nurse came to draw some blood – you went the same color as the walls!”

“Well, maybe I was a little – I mean, what happened to your leg didn’t sound –“ he swallowed – “nice, and the whole taking blood out of you when you – I mean, you were hurt and you lost a lot of it, so surely you’d, you know, need it all and –“ Josh didn’t need to look at her to know that Donna was rolling her eyes, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “But it wasn’t that.”

His voice was soft and when Donna looked up at him again, the expression on his face almost took her breath away. “It was relief. I’d just left… everything behind – all I knew was that you were alive, but I had no idea whether you’d –“ he took a deep breath, “still be alive when I got there; I didn’t know how you were, whether you were going to make a full recovery or not…” He ran a hand through his hair and then pulled her into an awkward hug, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “The colonel told me you were fine, that you’d had a collapsed lung and … the other thing – and I was just so glad you were going to be okay, that it went to my head and I got… dizzy for a few seconds, that was all.”

Donna heaved a sigh and tightened her arms around him, blinking back tears of relief. After a few moments, she pulled back, smiling at him impishly.

“You sure? He told me you looked like you were gonna puke.” She stroked his cheek lightly, tracing the outline of a dimple with her index finger.

“I –“ he shook his head and took her hand, placing a kiss on her palm. “I’m sure. I want to be with you for this. Hell,” he grinned, “it’s the least I can do… after all, I’ve not done anything since the conception, so…”

“True.” She raised an eyebrow and ran a hand up his arm, lightly grazing her nails over his bicep under the sleeve of his shirt, “except for obliging my every hormonally charged sexual whim …”

“Well, yeah, I guess that was a bit of a chore… I mean, three times a night, Donna – you wore me out…”

She swatted his arm. “Oh, so now you’re complaining? Funny how you didn’t at the time – ”

“Hey – I wasn’t going to upset a pregnant woman!”

“You’re all heart. Really.” She looped her arms around his neck.

“And speaking of indulging my whims…” she said in a sultry tone, pulling him to her for a kiss, “I really, really need… to have you…”

“…tied to the bed so you can have your wicked way with me?”

“Nice try… to have you call the pizza place because that anchovy and banana pizza is starting to sound very attractive right about now!”

End.

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Current Music: That Thing You Do....