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caz963Disclaimers: I own nothing, I’m making nothing… these characters were created by Aaron Sorkin and belong to Sorkin, Shoe Money Productions and NBC. I’m just taking them out for a spin and will return when I’ve finished with them. Although I might have to hang on to Danny for a while…
Being anally retentive about that sort of thing, I proofed it myself, so any mistakes are mine!
Category: Post-ep for 1.17, The Disaster Show.
Spoilers: Up to 1.19, K&R Part II.
A/N: Our heroes were absent from this episode, but I couldn’t help thinking that after the show, they’d have had something to say about the events that unfolded while they were dealing with the wildcat strike by the prop guys.
Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
coloneljack for the quick beta.
Flirting with Disaster
“It was a disaster.”
“No - it wasn’t.”
“It really was. A complete disaster.”
“It wasn’t that bad. C’mon - ”
“It wasn’t that bad? How can you -? Actually, how can you say that – you spent the night in the parking lot with a bunch of angry prop guys while I sat backstage for most of it writing lines on the palms of people’s hands because the cue card guys walked out! It was exactly that bad!”
“It wasn’t. And they weren’t that angry.”
“No? ‘You’re just prop guys, you’re easily replaceable’ - and they weren’t that angry?”
“See, what I actually meant was - ”
“They were out for a lynchin’ my friend.”
“Well, as you can see from the fact I’m, you know, standing here, there wasn’t one.”
“Maybe, but you realize you’ll be looking over your shoulder from now until the end of the season, right?”
“Huh?”
“They’ll crazy-glue your phone or re-hang your office door, saw through the legs on your sofa, stuff like that.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, you can think what you want, but I don’t think I’ll be visiting your office for a while, is all I’m sayin’.”
“Thanks for the show of solidarity.”
“No problem.”
“You coming to the party?”
“Later. I need to look at the… Danny, it was a terrible show.”
“It was not.”
“You’ve seen the tape?”
“Not yet – but I hear things.”
“What things?”
“That it wasn’t as bad as you think; c’mon, let’s go. You can dissect it later.”
“It wasn’t as bad as I think.”
“No.”
“Allison Janney exploded on the sofa, and it wasn’t as bad as I think?”
“Matt – these things happen. You know there’s a show every so often where a few things go wrong, so stop obsessing about it and - ”
“A few things?”
“Wait – what? She exploded?”
“Yeah.”
“What the hell..?”
“It was the squibs that were supposed to go off in the mob sketch; they didn’t, she left them on and they went off in the James Bond thing.”
“Ah.”
“Yes.”
“That was probably -”
“- it was.”
“And she was probably -”
“- she was.”
“Okay. So maybe it was more than a few things.”
“You think? But hey, look on the bright side - at least I didn’t get called an idiot on national television.”
“What?”
“During the goodnights. Allison blamed you for everything and called you an idiot.”
“She what?”
“I mean, Cal turned her mic off, but it’s on the tape. It’s pretty funny.”
“I guess that was predictable. Last time she was on, she called me an elitist, Ivy-League educated, fascist jackass, so a simple ‘idiot’ is a step up, don’t you think?”
“That’s your idea of a step up? ”
“Hm. Maybe not.”
“So – what did Jordan think of the show tonight?
“She didn’t see all of it.”
“Oh?”
“No – she wasn’t feeling too good; said she had a headache.”
“She okay?”
“Yeah. She went home.”
“Your home, home, or her home, home?”
“What does it -? Her home, home.”
“You’re really going to have to do something about your living arrangements. I don’t think the range of those baby monitor things is more than about fifty feet - unless you’re getting one from the CIA.”
“Give me a break, would you? We just… haven’t got that far yet.”
“Considering you did everything else at breakneck speed, I have to admit that’s - surprising.”
“You’ve never even lived with a woman and yet you’re heckling me about this?”
“Somebody has to.”
“And you think that should be you?”
“I was the most suitable candidate for the job.”
“In the absence of any other applicants.”
“Pretty much.”
“I think I can manage this one on my own.”
“Evidence would suggest otherwise.”
“I’m – Matt, I’ll get there, okay? Look –"
“You know you’ve got a deadline on this one, right?”
“I do know that, yes – I -”
“Just as long as you’re clear on that.”
“I’m clear. Matt -”
“I mean, before you know it, the baby’ll be here and - wow. Is that -?”
“An engagement ring? Yes.”
“It’s not for me, right?
“You’re my fall back option.”
“Always the bridesmaid…”
“There’s still time.”
“You know how I hate being second best.”
“You’ll just have to live with it.”
“Somehow, I’ll cope with the disappointment. But really – you’re going to ask her?”
“I am.”
“That’s great!”
“Well, she hasn’t said yes, yet.”
“She will.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.”
“And you know this because?”
“I’d say yes if you asked me.”
“This is you trying to make up for the lack of solidarity thing before, isn’t it?”
“How ‘m I doin’ so far?”
“Not all that well.”
“Go figure.”
“But you’ll stand up with me, right?”
“I’ll do better than that.”
“Better than that?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“I’ll help you with the proposal.”
“You’ll… help with the - ?”
“I mean, you gotta do it right - ”
“Matty - ”
“You have to plan these things - ”
“How the hell would you know?”
“Right time, right place, set the mood - ”
“Matt!”
“What?”
“Thanks for the offer - ”
“I’m serious. This is the big one, you can’t afford any mistakes.”
“- and for the vote of confidence.”
“Any time, partner.”
“But it’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
“It will.”
“Okay.”
“Matt, I’ll be fine.”
“Sure. I can see it now. Romantic candlelit dinner, you on one knee…”
“Oh, God.”
“What? You’ve done it before.”
“Not like that, I haven’t.”
“All the years I’ve known you and I never had you pegged for a cheap date.”
“All the years I’ve known you and I never had you pegged as the next Nora Roberts.”
“Do you want my help or not?”
“I very much do not.”
“Well, this is your lucky day, ‘cause I’m making an executive decision.”
“Oh, God… An executive decision to do what?”
“To help you out.”
“Matt, I really - ”
“I’ll write your proposal.”
“You’ll - what?”
“Your proposal. I’ll write it.”
“You’re Cyrano de Bergerac now?”
“Is that your way of telling me I’ve got a big nose?”
“Matt - ”
“No. This is the last time you’re going to do this - so you’ve got to do it right.”
“Okay – the last time I took relationship advice from you?”
“Yeah?”
“I ended up apologizing my ass off and got stuck on a roof while we had ‘The Jungle Book’ playing out under the stage.”
“Clearly, you’ve never seen ‘The Jungle Book’.”
“Whatever – but you see my point?”
“Actually, no – because as I recall, getting stuck on the roof turned out to be a good thing for you and I really think it’s about time you thanked me for my part in that.”
“You had a part in that?”
“You just said I did.”
“And your part was?”
“Not talking you out of doing something stupid.”
“You could have told me it was stupid at the time!”
“I didn’t think it was stupid – at the time.”
“But now you do?”
“With hindsight, and mature reflection, I now concede it may have been…”
“Stupid?”
“Pretty stupid, yeah.”
“And I suppose that hindsight and reflection wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Harriet threatened to beat you senseless with a head of cabbage when she found out?”
“Nope.”
“Matt.”
“Well, she can be pretty dangerous with raw vegetables – and how did you know about that?”
“According to you, I’m a Machiavellian control freak who has eyes and ears all over the building.”
“Ah. Jeannie.”
“No - yelling. Harriet’s voice carries.”
“Well, despite the fact that you’re not the slightest bit concerned for my welfare, I am, nonetheless, going to help you out.”
“Oh. Must you?”
“I must. I would be forsaking my duty as your friend and Best Man if I let you go through this alone.”
“Let me go through this..? Matt, I’m asking Jordan to marry me, not scale the north face of the Eiger.”
“The two aren’t that different.”
“Marriage and… mountaineering?”
“They both start with an ‘M’.”
“And there, the similarity ends.”
“I don’t know… some would say marriage can be an uphill struggle, fraught with danger, with huge potential for missteps, having to bridge chasms of understanding…”
“Remind me again what it is we pay you for?”
“- trying not to fall into gulfs of - ”
“Matt?”
“What?”
“If that’s your idea of helping me - you’re not doing a very good job.”
“I’ll just stick to the proposal, then.”
“I think that would be safest for all concerned, yes.”
“I’ll write you in some mountaineering references if you like.”
“I don’t – just… whatever makes you happy.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay. So. You want to look at this tape?”
“Yeah. You wanna sit here and hide from Allison Janney?”
“For the love of… I am not hiding from Allison Janney.”
“You sure? She can be pretty scary.”
“I’m not –"
“ – and she’s freakishly tall.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“And you know, I think she’s got a thing for Cal.”
“I’m in hell…”
“I’m just sayin’ – last time I saw her she was practically in his lap, but then I think she was pretty drunk.”
“Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and watch the tape.”
End.
Being anally retentive about that sort of thing, I proofed it myself, so any mistakes are mine!
Category: Post-ep for 1.17, The Disaster Show.
Spoilers: Up to 1.19, K&R Part II.
A/N: Our heroes were absent from this episode, but I couldn’t help thinking that after the show, they’d have had something to say about the events that unfolded while they were dealing with the wildcat strike by the prop guys.
Thanks to
coloneljack for the quick beta.Flirting with Disaster
“It was a disaster.”
“No - it wasn’t.”
“It really was. A complete disaster.”
“It wasn’t that bad. C’mon - ”
“It wasn’t that bad? How can you -? Actually, how can you say that – you spent the night in the parking lot with a bunch of angry prop guys while I sat backstage for most of it writing lines on the palms of people’s hands because the cue card guys walked out! It was exactly that bad!”
“It wasn’t. And they weren’t that angry.”
“No? ‘You’re just prop guys, you’re easily replaceable’ - and they weren’t that angry?”
“See, what I actually meant was - ”
“They were out for a lynchin’ my friend.”
“Well, as you can see from the fact I’m, you know, standing here, there wasn’t one.”
“Maybe, but you realize you’ll be looking over your shoulder from now until the end of the season, right?”
“Huh?”
“They’ll crazy-glue your phone or re-hang your office door, saw through the legs on your sofa, stuff like that.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, you can think what you want, but I don’t think I’ll be visiting your office for a while, is all I’m sayin’.”
“Thanks for the show of solidarity.”
“No problem.”
“You coming to the party?”
“Later. I need to look at the… Danny, it was a terrible show.”
“It was not.”
“You’ve seen the tape?”
“Not yet – but I hear things.”
“What things?”
“That it wasn’t as bad as you think; c’mon, let’s go. You can dissect it later.”
“It wasn’t as bad as I think.”
“No.”
“Allison Janney exploded on the sofa, and it wasn’t as bad as I think?”
“Matt – these things happen. You know there’s a show every so often where a few things go wrong, so stop obsessing about it and - ”
“A few things?”
“Wait – what? She exploded?”
“Yeah.”
“What the hell..?”
“It was the squibs that were supposed to go off in the mob sketch; they didn’t, she left them on and they went off in the James Bond thing.”
“Ah.”
“Yes.”
“That was probably -”
“- it was.”
“And she was probably -”
“- she was.”
“Okay. So maybe it was more than a few things.”
“You think? But hey, look on the bright side - at least I didn’t get called an idiot on national television.”
“What?”
“During the goodnights. Allison blamed you for everything and called you an idiot.”
“She what?”
“I mean, Cal turned her mic off, but it’s on the tape. It’s pretty funny.”
“I guess that was predictable. Last time she was on, she called me an elitist, Ivy-League educated, fascist jackass, so a simple ‘idiot’ is a step up, don’t you think?”
“That’s your idea of a step up? ”
“Hm. Maybe not.”
“So – what did Jordan think of the show tonight?
“She didn’t see all of it.”
“Oh?”
“No – she wasn’t feeling too good; said she had a headache.”
“She okay?”
“Yeah. She went home.”
“Your home, home, or her home, home?”
“What does it -? Her home, home.”
“You’re really going to have to do something about your living arrangements. I don’t think the range of those baby monitor things is more than about fifty feet - unless you’re getting one from the CIA.”
“Give me a break, would you? We just… haven’t got that far yet.”
“Considering you did everything else at breakneck speed, I have to admit that’s - surprising.”
“You’ve never even lived with a woman and yet you’re heckling me about this?”
“Somebody has to.”
“And you think that should be you?”
“I was the most suitable candidate for the job.”
“In the absence of any other applicants.”
“Pretty much.”
“I think I can manage this one on my own.”
“Evidence would suggest otherwise.”
“I’m – Matt, I’ll get there, okay? Look –"
“You know you’ve got a deadline on this one, right?”
“I do know that, yes – I -”
“Just as long as you’re clear on that.”
“I’m clear. Matt -”
“I mean, before you know it, the baby’ll be here and - wow. Is that -?”
“An engagement ring? Yes.”
“It’s not for me, right?
“You’re my fall back option.”
“Always the bridesmaid…”
“There’s still time.”
“You know how I hate being second best.”
“You’ll just have to live with it.”
“Somehow, I’ll cope with the disappointment. But really – you’re going to ask her?”
“I am.”
“That’s great!”
“Well, she hasn’t said yes, yet.”
“She will.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.”
“And you know this because?”
“I’d say yes if you asked me.”
“This is you trying to make up for the lack of solidarity thing before, isn’t it?”
“How ‘m I doin’ so far?”
“Not all that well.”
“Go figure.”
“But you’ll stand up with me, right?”
“I’ll do better than that.”
“Better than that?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“I’ll help you with the proposal.”
“You’ll… help with the - ?”
“I mean, you gotta do it right - ”
“Matty - ”
“You have to plan these things - ”
“How the hell would you know?”
“Right time, right place, set the mood - ”
“Matt!”
“What?”
“Thanks for the offer - ”
“I’m serious. This is the big one, you can’t afford any mistakes.”
“- and for the vote of confidence.”
“Any time, partner.”
“But it’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
“It will.”
“Okay.”
“Matt, I’ll be fine.”
“Sure. I can see it now. Romantic candlelit dinner, you on one knee…”
“Oh, God.”
“What? You’ve done it before.”
“Not like that, I haven’t.”
“All the years I’ve known you and I never had you pegged for a cheap date.”
“All the years I’ve known you and I never had you pegged as the next Nora Roberts.”
“Do you want my help or not?”
“I very much do not.”
“Well, this is your lucky day, ‘cause I’m making an executive decision.”
“Oh, God… An executive decision to do what?”
“To help you out.”
“Matt, I really - ”
“I’ll write your proposal.”
“You’ll - what?”
“Your proposal. I’ll write it.”
“You’re Cyrano de Bergerac now?”
“Is that your way of telling me I’ve got a big nose?”
“Matt - ”
“No. This is the last time you’re going to do this - so you’ve got to do it right.”
“Okay – the last time I took relationship advice from you?”
“Yeah?”
“I ended up apologizing my ass off and got stuck on a roof while we had ‘The Jungle Book’ playing out under the stage.”
“Clearly, you’ve never seen ‘The Jungle Book’.”
“Whatever – but you see my point?”
“Actually, no – because as I recall, getting stuck on the roof turned out to be a good thing for you and I really think it’s about time you thanked me for my part in that.”
“You had a part in that?”
“You just said I did.”
“And your part was?”
“Not talking you out of doing something stupid.”
“You could have told me it was stupid at the time!”
“I didn’t think it was stupid – at the time.”
“But now you do?”
“With hindsight, and mature reflection, I now concede it may have been…”
“Stupid?”
“Pretty stupid, yeah.”
“And I suppose that hindsight and reflection wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Harriet threatened to beat you senseless with a head of cabbage when she found out?”
“Nope.”
“Matt.”
“Well, she can be pretty dangerous with raw vegetables – and how did you know about that?”
“According to you, I’m a Machiavellian control freak who has eyes and ears all over the building.”
“Ah. Jeannie.”
“No - yelling. Harriet’s voice carries.”
“Well, despite the fact that you’re not the slightest bit concerned for my welfare, I am, nonetheless, going to help you out.”
“Oh. Must you?”
“I must. I would be forsaking my duty as your friend and Best Man if I let you go through this alone.”
“Let me go through this..? Matt, I’m asking Jordan to marry me, not scale the north face of the Eiger.”
“The two aren’t that different.”
“Marriage and… mountaineering?”
“They both start with an ‘M’.”
“And there, the similarity ends.”
“I don’t know… some would say marriage can be an uphill struggle, fraught with danger, with huge potential for missteps, having to bridge chasms of understanding…”
“Remind me again what it is we pay you for?”
“- trying not to fall into gulfs of - ”
“Matt?”
“What?”
“If that’s your idea of helping me - you’re not doing a very good job.”
“I’ll just stick to the proposal, then.”
“I think that would be safest for all concerned, yes.”
“I’ll write you in some mountaineering references if you like.”
“I don’t – just… whatever makes you happy.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay. So. You want to look at this tape?”
“Yeah. You wanna sit here and hide from Allison Janney?”
“For the love of… I am not hiding from Allison Janney.”
“You sure? She can be pretty scary.”
“I’m not –"
“ – and she’s freakishly tall.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“And you know, I think she’s got a thing for Cal.”
“I’m in hell…”
“I’m just sayin’ – last time I saw her she was practically in his lap, but then I think she was pretty drunk.”
“Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and watch the tape.”
End.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 09:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 09:37 am (UTC)Glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 05:25 pm (UTC)I write mostly West Wing fic, but I did write a couple more S60 fics if you're interested here (http://caz963.livejournal.com/74198.html) and here (http://caz963.livejournal.com/79527.html).
Thanks for reading!
Opps
Date: 2007-07-29 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 04:16 pm (UTC)Loved the throw backs to TWW.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 05:20 pm (UTC)Maybe I'm still sleep deprived from sitting up half the night!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 10:36 pm (UTC)Great writing!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 10:52 pm (UTC)I write mostly West Wing fic, but there are a couple of other S60 ones at my fic page (http://caz963.livejournal.com/46574.html) if you're interested.
Thanks for reading.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 01:51 am (UTC)Now the big question is this: How do we get Brad and Matt to act this out for us?
Sigh, I really miss them.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 07:19 pm (UTC)I really enjoyed writing this one, although (and I know this sounds pretentious) at times it seemed to be writing itself!
As to the other thing... if only *sigh*
I miss them too - although it's just started airing on TV here in the UK, so I'm at last getting to see it on a proper sized screen. Which has definite advantages! (http://caz963.livejournal.com/101118.html#cutid1) ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 02:48 am (UTC)THIS was PRICELESS!!!!! (And yes, it was worthy of all-caps.) Oh this was just awesome. I am grinning like a maniac and died laughing. I can just hear Matt and Danny saying these things and oh, just LOVE the WW reference.
“I guess that was predictable. Last time she was on, she called me an elitist, Ivy-League educated, fascist jackass, so a simple ‘idiot’ is a step up, don’t you think?” Oh wonderful!!!
And all the banter about the proposal-- and Allison Janney liking Cal!! Ha!!!! (Can I just say-- I bet Brad Whitford would get a kick out of reading this.)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 10:36 am (UTC)But thanks for reading. I remember I had huge fun writing this - it was one of those things that just seemed to pour out and I didn't have to tweak it too much to get it how I wanted it. Which is always a good thing to have happen!
Glad it made you smile.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-18 06:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-19 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-19 03:32 pm (UTC)