FF: Changing Horizons - Josh/Donna, NC-17

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Well, you asked for it...

Last night, for some strange reason – and without the aid of a net alcohol coloneljack and I got to discussing the truly terrible euphemisms that one finds in porny badfic.

I seem to remember saying something about “throbbing members” and her contributing a “beauteous crevice”… and the conversation just degenerated from there; and I’m afraid I ended up corrupting her saintliness by pointing her in the direction of weepingcock - the place to mock bad porn.

But before that, she suggested that we do a poll to discover the worst porn euphemisms you've every read … which I’m sure will be most amusing.

So… what’s the worst porny description you’ve ever read? If possible, make them generic rather than character-specific. Post a comment and we’ll add the suggestions to the poll and then you can all vote for the world's most dreadful porny euphemism or phrase!

(Comments are screened so we can unleash the suggestions on an unsuspecting public at a later date!)

Oh, and feel free to pimp this and point people over here - the more the merrier! :)

Heh - sounds like an orgy!