Well, you asked for it...

[caz963]

Last night, for some strange reason – and without the aid of a net alcohol coloneljack and I got to discussing the truly terrible euphemisms that one finds in porny badfic.

I seem to remember saying something about “throbbing members” and her contributing a “beauteous crevice”… and the conversation just degenerated from there; and I’m afraid I ended up corrupting her saintliness by pointing her in the direction of weepingcock - the place to mock bad porn.

But before that, she suggested that we do a poll to discover the worst porn euphemisms you've every read … which I’m sure will be most amusing.

So… what’s the worst porny description you’ve ever read? If possible, make them generic rather than character-specific. Post a comment and we’ll add the suggestions to the poll and then you can all vote for the world's most dreadful porny euphemism or phrase!

(Comments are screened so we can unleash the suggestions on an unsuspecting public at a later date!)

Oh, and feel free to pimp this and point people over here - the more the merrier! :)

Heh - sounds like an orgy!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

When you get the list together, would you consider writing an incredibly smutty, fluffy J/D fic?...maybe while they were on vacation the sun and fruity rum drinks got to them and they had this same conversation.
I loved your newest fic. As always perfect voices and no unfortunate euphemisms.
I was looking at your recs because I remember a fic where Josh comes in after Donna has had their baby. Part of it is the baby's point of view and she says something to the effect of "oh the guy with the funny hair is Daddy." I can't seem to find it, could you point me in the right direction?
Thanks
Kelly

[caz963.livejournal.com]

Bwah! Josh and Donna discussing bad porn? I think it may have been done, but otherwise, it's a thought... ;-)

I think I remember that fic - it might be one of Bex's - I'll let you know.

(Oh, and thanks for reading my latest - glad you liked it.)